The Journal of Gwen Stacy
by blackamerican
Summary: Follow the journal entries of Gwen Stacy, from science to romance.. you will learn it all. Gwen x Peter. The Amazing Spiderman movieverse
1. Page 1

Keep writing or not? Enjoy!

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**Journal Entry #1**

In biology there is a term known as Symbiosis "A corporative relationship," simply put it means that two organisms live together and support each other. I have come up with a term that goes even farther, I call it perfect symbiosis. When two beings are not only positive for each other in every aspect, they balance out the negative too. Yin and Yang, black and white, matter and gravity. Two forces that keep the other in check through the good and the bad.

Most of us are searching for that other that in some miraculous way just gets us. They balance out our annoying tendencies with their wonderful ones. They give equilibrium to our less than desirable qualities with desirable ones. They give us peace in the chaos that is our everyday life. No matter how much one tries to go against this force, some part of the mind searches from the back wishing that the person who can do all of this for you will show up.

My Mom had found this perfect symbiosis in my Dad; you should have seen them together. Their banter, the cute moments when one would pester the other, and especially the eyes they gave each other whenever my Dad came home from a long day at work. Whenever he left that door in his blues she would kiss him like it was the last time that she would ever feel his lips. She hammered it into our heads to say "I love you Dad!" whenever he left for work because under the smiles and nice talk we knew that he could walk out and possibly never come back. When Dr. Conner's was under that serum he killed my Dad on the roof top of Oscorp. That day my Mom reminded me to tell my Dad that I loved him, and even though it was a routine occurrence for me now for her.. it was more. It was a new and real meaning each time, and not matter how many days pass I know that she will have a scar that will never heal even as time passes.

As I observe everyone else search for that perfect symbiosis, I can't help but let out a pathetic laugh. What I described before about this phenomenon is difficult to understand unless you have experienced it yourself. I should know because before meeting a certain brown haired, lanky and mysterious young man I never would have even thought that is type of biological development was possible.

This mysterious teen that I speak of goes by a few names actually. Most of New York and the World know him as The Amazing Spiderman, The Masked Menace, Wall Crawler ect.. the population of our school knows him as the head of the photography club, and the second smartest student in our year (Behind myself of course). I know him as Peter Parker, the insufferably handsome and quietly mocking guy who is the reason I came up with this flipping theory.

Well I must head off to bed, tomorrows a big day and spending anymore time writing will end with a novel of epic proportions.


	2. Page 2

Journal entry #2.. enjoy! Also thanks for the reviews guys, I shall post as quickly as I can :l

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**Journal Entry #2**

Whelp the big day came and went like a summer storm. If you didn't know (Which how could you, you're paper?) I had my final AP exam today, the most important one in my opinion which was AP Biology. The test in its self wasn't that difficult, but I can chalk that up to the hours of studying and late night Starbucks runs. I may have over killed the studying a bit with the experiences I received at Oscorp. Yet, is it that much of an advantage just because I was an intern for two years at one of the world's leading research companies with the most advanced genetics department on the Eastern seaboard? Okay, yes it is. Yet I worked hard for that position, I mean a 4.0 since Pre-K?

Well on to test day.

I woke up at around 7am to get ready as the test wasn't held until 9:30 in the school's gymnasium. I've done this routine more times than my fingers can count. So I took a quick shower, threw on my testing outfit. Which consists of my lucky jeans, my Empire State University hoody, and the only pair of converse that I own. I put my hair up in a pony tail and headed to the kitchen to grab my breakfast. My Mom was up and gave me her usual hug and good luck speech telling me to use all of my time, and to not burn out within the first 20 minutes.

I have never burned out on a test!

But I told her that I would take my time and that I loved her. Grabbing my bag pack I double checked to make sure that all of my supplies were there. Though I had packed the night before so as not to forget anything. Who wants to sit there beginning the test only to find they had no Number 2 pencil? Someone who doesn't want to skip entrance level biology that's who!

Moving on.

I ended up taking the bus since I had an hour to kill before heading to school, and I thought the cold New York air might get rid of the few jitters that I had running through my body. Man was I wrong, so mortally and incredibly wrong. After paying my fare and taking a window seat in the front of the bus an event happened that a large part of me always dreaded and a small part always hoped. Hearing the blaring sirens of NYPD cars approaching I turned my head to view out of the window. An old looking sedan sped by with two men dressed in dark black behind the wheel. Following were two ford cruisers in pursuit. Mind you with your father being a cop that siren usually meant that he had seen you with a boy, or you stayed too late at a friend's house. But.. now those sirens recalled a part of my life I would never get back. Instead of feeling annoyance, secret giddiness, and security I felt dread and sorrow.

When I was about to look away time seemed to halt upon my visions discovery. Coming up and above the squad cars was an individual seemingly swinging with as much ease as the average person has when walking. My eyes widened when the realization of whom that web slinging individual was. It was Peter.

I lurched forward to somehow see clearer than I already was as I watched Peter catch up to the old sedan. My heart clenched in my chest watching him let go of his web and dive onto the top of the car.

Why did he have to be so reckless!? I know that he has super strength and everything, but couldn't he at least not make it look so dangerous!

Okay, calming down.

From how far the bus was following behind all I could see was peter darting on the top of the car, I couldn't come to a reason of why he was moving on top of the sedan until I realized that the two guys inside were shooting. At the roof. Trying to kill the only guy that I can actually relate with and keep up with me. He swung off the top of the car and semi circled around only to dive kick into the windshield. The sedan veered off left quickly and was about to jackknife into another car, but Peter launched up with a web and hung the car on two light poles causing it to bound forward and back until it equalized out and just hung there.

I lost two years of my life in less than thirty seconds watching this little scene unfold. Peter swung off in the other direction than where my bus was heading, when I finally lost sight of him I sat back into my seat while letting out a large breath holding my hand over my eyes. Why can he just go out and do stuff like that and still seem so fragile to me? I've felt how strong he is, how easily he could just pick me up and leap into the sky. I know that he heals faster than even the healthiest human, strike that the healthiest mammal. I know that he is more agile than any predator known to man. Even with the knowledge that Peter is stronger, faster, and more cunning than any other person out there I can't help but worry.

I truly believe I have the super ability of absorbing the worries that a certain persistently late student should have in his adorably cute head. Wow that was sappy.. but in all seriousness he just goes out and puts himself in the way of danger.

Is it a male thing? To just go and feel like you need to save the world? Is having someone there for you, who is willing to help you shoulder the burdens of the world to much?

It's just difficult knowing that you want to be doubly selfish because the one who is meant for you is so selfless. You just want them to give in and be as selfish and as yourself..

When I got to the school and walked into the gymnasium I found my seat and speedily sat down. As not to draw any attention to myself for once, I lowered my head and tried to take in a little nap before the test.

Did I forget to say that I like to be an hour early before AP tests? It makes me feel more confident knowing that I am the first in, helps to make myself finishing first feel less guilty to my mother's advice. When I awoke to my phone vibrating letting me know that I had ten minutes before the exam started, I raised my head and took in the sights around me. Around 60 students or so were taking this year's test, most familiar faces from my school. Two rows in front of me was an empty seat.

Big surprise.

A minute before the exam was to start I heard the cling of the gym door open. Not even turning myself I watched a lanky teen whose head was covered by a grey hoody trying to covertly make it to his seat two rows directly in front of me. As he finally sat he pulled at his hood and revealed that damn full head of chestnut brown hair that is so much softer than it already looks. He scrambled to get his utensils out silently as not to disturb others around him trying to focus. Finally adjusted he looked back to view the clock (Seeing if he had time to go to the bathroom knowing Peter). When his eyes roamed from the clock his gaze locked with mine. Looking like a dear in the headlights I couldn't help but inwardly smirk a little that I still had this effect on him. Not breaking our gaze he mouthed "Good luck," to me and I only smiled a little mouthing the same words back. He threw little thumbs up and a cheeky grin in with this until the instructor's voice boringly boomed "Open the wrapping on the test packet please."

Peter turned quickly and my eyes fell back down to the packet.

The test in itself went well, and I'm pretty sure I got a five. Wow I can sound cocky sometimes.. though my confidence is adjusted perfectly for my work ethic thank you very much.

I will get into the fiasco that followed the after the exam later.. let's just say it involved two embarrassed teens, a broom closet, and The Fray.

I shall write more tomorrow, but I must be off for my victory coffee with a friend.

-Gwen


	3. Page 3

Capitulo trei :D.. Enjoy my friends!

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**Journal Entry #3**

Do you understand how it feels to lose two of the largest pillars in your life? Two individuals who in different ways shaped who you are as a person. Your ambitions, dreams, and fears come from the way that they interacted with you and were such a large part of your everyday life. To say you feel lost doesn't give justice to the amount of tears, self loathing, and loneliness that follows losing them.

Yet, when you lose a person to death at least you know deep down that in time the pain will fade. The joyful memories will outlast the pain from their absence. As I have been told you will slowly, but surely walk away from their death a stronger and more mature person. I took this advice with a grain of salt, but as the days passed after my Dads funeral I have been feeling myself come back to normalcy little by little. Whether it's been not feeling dread every time I hear a cop car; or the fact that my fellow peers have stopped giving condolences and have been giving me the normal hello.

Now I'm not saying that losing my Dad has been or will ever be easy, but at least if it had just been him I would have been able to grieve like a normal person and come out the other side stronger. LikeI alluded to before, I didn't lose just one pillar of my life.. I lost another who was just as important. The guy that was supposed to be there for me! He was supposed to come rushing over after I left five voicemails that my Dad had died. How was I supposed to deal with this without Peter? I had to be the comforting shoulder for my Mom, the parental figure for my brothers, and the caring ear for them all. No one came to my side other than with the flipping "I'm sorry for your loss," or "How is your family handling this?"

I understand that I come off as strong and adaptive, but didn't anyone even care what I was going through? Oh no. Let Gwen Stacy just sit there and deal with it, she'll be fine! God..

That felt good to get out.. even for the second time. Yes the second time, the first had to do when I pulled Peter into a janitors closet after the AP exam.. I will get to that event in a second.

When I had realized Peter wasn't going to pick up I had grabbed my coat that same day I had called. Running out of my building I took a cab over to his house to see what was going on. All I knew is that my father had been stabbed by that lunatic lizard Conner's and had been left for dead. Apparently they had found webbing on the roof so I knew Peter/Spiderman had been up there. I was too distraught to be angry that he hadn't come to me after the fight, I was worried and hurt that he hadn't come to me if he had been injured..

When I reached his door step I still remember the look of surprise, fear, and sadness that had graced his face. All I remember telling him was that my father's funeral had been that day, and asking him why he hadn't shown up. He just shakily said that he couldn't see me anymore, he couldn't deal with.. with US!

After figuring out my Dad had made him promise to stay away from me, what could I do? Peter had promised my dying father to protect me by staying away. I knew that I should feel proud that my Dad wanted nothing more than my safety and happiness, but Peter is my shot at happiness. He completes my know it all and snarky persona with his soft spoken sarcasm and cutely sly smile.

We can just sit for hours talking about new research that we had read about or a stupid comedy we had both inadvertently seen. I don't have to dumb down my speech or be cheery and smiley all the time with him, I can let my guard down and just sit and be there… I can just let go and stare at him as his eyes grow big telling a story, and I can't help but let out a dorky laugh because his expressions make whatever he says the most interesting story known to man. He listens to me and can actually give me a point of view that helps me open up my own way of thinking. Peter Parker is the other part of me, he is my perfect symbiosis.

More or less of what I just wrote down is what I wish I could have told him when I awkwardly pulled him into the closet. I had gone over the scenario since I realized we were taking the test forever, I even scoped out the perfect place for us to talk where he couldn't get away.

Totally not creepy stalkerish at all.

After the test had finished and we had been released to go, I bided my time until I saw Peter try to sneak out of his chair and walk away unnoticed. I shot up and a little louder than I planned I said "Peter! I have something that I need to discuss with you." He turned and looked as if he was a deer in the headlights. He spoke out "Um.. sure," rubbing the back of his head. I stepped in front of him and motioned him to follow, though he did so from a few feet back looking in every other direction other than where I walking. As I lead him to the closet I couldn't help but get a knot in my stomach. Could I do this? Could I really tell him all of how I was feeling and how I needed him?

Upon reaching the closet I quickly swung open the door and lunged for his hand pulling him in with me. I miscalculated on one large lurking variable. The closest was about a one meter by one meter, which meant that we were nearly touching standing chest to chest. Somehow in my dumb and speedy grab I had caused him to enter faster than I thought. Peter ended up placing both of his hands on the wall behind us and my own hands ended up on his chest.. his well defined and hard chest. In that moment I had forgotten how tall Peter really was. I'm not tiny by any means at 5"6 I'm above average for American women.. but Peter is 6ft not counting that long and thick brown hair. I had to crane my neck a little to look at his dark eyes while his own head was tilted down staring into my own.

"So.. what did you need?"

That is what he said. As if we weren't in this awkward situation, deconstructing any stress that I had building up in this situation. That's another thing that I love about Peter, he can turn any awkward situation into an awkwardly entertaining one without even trying. I shot my gaze down trying to remember what I had initially needed to say. Wracking my brain for more than a minute while trying to control a blush is difficult in a situation like this! Finally the memory came flooding back, and when I looked up it was on the tip of my tongue. But then what I feared would happen did.

I got lost in his gaze.

For all of the awkward, shy, and clumsy things that you could say about him. Peter's gaze always showed more emotion in a few moments of viewing than the normal person could with full facial movement. I couldn't speak, and I didn't need to. I saw all of the sorry and pain unravel from his gaze. He felt responsible for my Dad's death.. He didn't just stay away from the promise, but also because he probably thought that I hated him. I mean I really haven't shown him the most civility over the past few months. A sad smile found its way onto my lips. Tracing my right hand up his chest I cupped his right cheek. His mouth was in the process of opening when I spoke first.

"Peter, I do not and will never blame you for his death. Dr. Conner's killed him, and if you hadn't been there more people would have been hurt or worse. You're a hero Peter, and I know that my Dad was proud to have given his life fighting that man by your side."

I didn't think that his eyes could go any bigger than when he got excited, but I am proud to say I made them about 20% bigger. He tried to come up with a coherent sentence, but I grazed his cheek with my thumb calming him down.

"Peter listen… I know that you promised him to stay away from me, but like you said the best promises are the ones you can't keep."

His eye brows furrowed before speaking, "Gwen, I just.. can't right now… The city needs me, and I can't always be there to protect you. It's easier if we're not together, I need to know you're safe."

All I wanted to tell him was that I will always be in danger! Any given day bad things can happen, and that's life. Yet I held back and only told him.

"Peter, I hope that someday you will realize that I will always be in some sort of danger. I understand though.. I wish I didn't, but I do. Just know that I will be here when you finally realize that us being together is meant to be."

After saying this I didn't wait for a reaction. I reached up on my toes and kissed his left cheek softly. I missed how soft and warm his skin was. When I backed down I couldn't help but bite my lip. He looked at me with confusion and then tentatively leaned down, just about to grace his lips with mine whennnn.. my phone went off.

Over my Head by The Fray rang from it. My Mom's ringtone of course. I quickly fumbled for it and picked up. She was asking when I was coming home, so Peter and I eased our way out of the closet quietly. He gave me sort of a half wave before walking speedily away, I wanted nothing more than to follow. But of course I had to pick up my brother from his soccer practice.

So that's how the closet and The Fray came into the picture. Well I am going to get some sleep, hopefully tomorrow is an easier day.

-Gwen


	4. Page 4

Enjoy guys!

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**Journal #4**

Last night was strange...

Not like crazy mad scientist trying to turn New York City into the new reptile capital of the world strange, more like a bad dream mixed with not really knowing if what you just woke up to is reality. Let me back up and explain as this is starting to sound like the opening to some fantasy video game.

I had gotten up from my bed to open the window a bit since my room was feeling a bit stuffy or it could have been because I was responding to some guy who had also gotten into Empire States honors program's message, and wanted a break from his creepy advance.

Who hits on a person over Facebook?

Whatever happened to the days of a girl running into a guy and indirectly making a date though you really didn't know if it was a date or not?

Well anyways back to the window.

So I had cracked it just a bit and froze a little when I touched the glass. This was the same window that at any given time Peter use to just show up, I still remember the first time I saw him just sitting out there with that stupid grin on his adorable face. I would always feign disinterest and look back down to whatever I was working on until finally I would lose the battle and open it. Letting in the only guy that has ever and probably will ever enter my room other than those related to me.

After cracking that portal to the night air of the city I had walked and plopped back down on my bed. Gazing over the lit screen of my MacBook I just sighed and closed the screen. Trading the laptop for my iPod (Man am I an apple fan girl) I put my headphones in an just put it to shuffle. Lying back on my pillow I let my eye lids fall until the only thing that I could see was darkness.

I don't remember when I had fallen asleep. Maybe it was when Flows Through Me came on or when 50 Ways to Say Goodbye crept it's way into my ears. All I can really discern was that a horrible dream had started to play out in my head.

I was running from some monstrous creature (Mind you this one didn't have scales) and of course I tripped like some damsel in distress. But, it didn't have the time to attack me when something hit it from behind and knocked it clear over me. My eyes had widened as the red and blue blur that had launched this creature flew over my head. The two started to go at it when I got a better look at whoever had saved me. It was Spiderman! I mean Peter.. Well you get it, he saved me!

This creature he was currently fighting against was large, at least three meters in height and one meter in length. He was hunched over with his spine protruding in a way that didn't even seen like a mammal. The most striking features of this creature werehis two eyes and large grotesque mouth. His eyes were two slanted white flat orbs, I couldn't make out any pupils.. His jaw was sickeningly unhinged with a large and ugly tongue flicking around, I had no clue what this thing was.

Peter was dodging every hit of this creature until finally it had caught him, I screamed for it to let him go. Peter looked back and yelled for me to run, as he was yelling the creature had raised one of his claw like hands and.. That's all I remember. I shot up with sweat soaking my body and my iPod flying off of me, the same with my covers. As I sat there trying to catch my breath tears started streaming out of my eyes. What the hell kind of nightmare was that? It seemed way to real..

I had gone to the bathroom to wash my face and body with a wash cloth and hopefully calm down. Running the warm towel over my body I tried to think of ANYTHING else other than that damned nightmare. I dried my body and crept back to my room, closing the door as quietly as I could. When I found myself back in bed I searched for my phone finally finding it on my night stand. Flipping through my contacts I found the most important one in the world at that moment, Peters. I pressed the call button and brought my phone up to my ear. Dragging my knees up to my chest I just listening to the standard ring back tone play, and after four rings I was sure I would get his voicemail. Luckily I heard the little click that notified he had picked up. I waited for a split second until he spoke mumbling.

"G..wen? What's up?"

My face contorted to pure joy and relief. He was okay.

Shakily I spoke "Yeah, I just wanted to see if you were al.. Um... Sleeping well!"

Wow I sounded to cheery for two in the morning.

"Um.. Yeah I'm good? Look is something up? It's like two in the morning, and it's Saturday."

Biting my finger I could help but go over my options. Oh nothing's up, just had a dream you were murdered my some creature in front of me! Hey, I had a nightmare can you come over and cuddle me to death?Damnit I should have thought this through..

"I'm good Peter, get some sleep!"

He just sounded even more confused.

"Buuut.. You called me?"

Couldn't beat that logic.

"Well, you answered!? Who's awake at 2am on a Saturday?"

What he said still makes me smile even now.

"A certain blonde haired, and blue eyed science nerd who has a pension for being hardheaded is up at 2am. Also a brown haired, and dark eyed science nerd is awake. So striking out a few variables science nerds are up right now?"

Just like that I was fine. In less than a few minutes of conversation I was completely and utterly content. We talked until finally I fell asleep exhausted with his voice giving me a soothing "Sleep well Gwen." and me rasping out some garbled response.

When I awoke around eight am I couldn't shake that something was off. I mean I slept well don't get me wrong! But I fell asleep on top of my covers. Looking down I noticed that I had been moved under the covers with an extra blanket over me. My phone was placed on my night stand and looking across my room the window was shut. Could Peter have? No.. My Mom must have heard the commotion and talking and done all of this. Then I had noticed the huge clue of who did it. I was currently wrapped up in red hoody which smelled exactly like the greatest smelling male known to man.

Peter had swung over and tucked me in.. I don't understand him.

I have to be off my beloved journal. I'll be back to write more of my mundane life onto your blank pages later.

-Gwen.


	5. Page 5

Number five guys! Sorry it's a little short, currently in a train station and I'mrunning low on battery! Enjoy!

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**Journal #5**

I did not want to wake up this morning. Whether it's the fact that I have about a month and a half until graduation or that it's six AM.

Let's go through the check list:

Finish K-12 with a 4.0 GPA.. Check

Receive valedictorian of my senior class.. Check

Finish my internship at Oscorp with honors.. Check

Have a high school romance to end them all.. Sort of check

I feel as if I deserve a new type of award in my honor for accomplishing all of this, AND helping to save New York City from a biochemical attack of disastrous proportions.

Wow that was pretentious..

All of this negative energy could be coming from the fact that I've had less than 20 hours of sleep in the past five days. After the nightmare I had last week it's a wonder that I haven't had a panic attack at any given point. I wrote how real it felt, right?

Well off of that topic lets talk about something else that is completely relevant to my day today.. Well as you know I will be attending Empire State University this coming fall. I got into the honors program which fast tracks me past the large lecture halls filled to the brim with freshman, and into the sophomore level classes which is a godsend. I couldn't imagine sitting through Bio 101 after already conquering that class this year. Surprisingly I'm a little nervous of leaving home though the college is only about 30 minutes away from my apartment.

I guess when you've spent the good part of your adolescence in the same place you grow some sort of attachment. No one in the household has really brought up the fact that I'm moving out soon ever since my Dads funeral. Either for the fact that it means one more Stacy won't be roaming the halls of this place or because none of us really feel comfortable with change right now. We reached some semblance of normalcy, and after what I went through this year I couldn't have been more thankful. My Mom weirdly is the only one who will bring it up if she can, I think she believes that I'll be stronger if I somehow get more pumped to go. I mean I have been ready for college since I was like six, but once the hours are actually counting down you get a bit apprehensive

At least one of my professors emailed me back about an internship in the biochem lab, and it looks favorable that I'll get it. With the scholarships that I received it's not really about the money, more for the experience and getting my name out into the circles of professors and other students. Networking is important, never forget that.

If I had to put down another positive of leaving for college at the moment I guess it's that a few of my friends from my Biology class are also going into the honors program, including that one guy.. What's his name?

Pepper? Pete? Pet.. Oh That Peter guy!

Only kidding, as forgetting Peter would be the final straw in whatever is holding my teetering sanity together these days.

Peter got into the honors program at ESU also though he is going the genetics route of biology while I shall be venturing forth into the expansive world of molecular biology! Man I love being a geek. Honestly who wants to be all dumb and incredibly attractive? Being extremely intelligent AND cute is sooo much better. Vanity aside it will be nice to have Peter there, one of the things we actually semi talk about on a regular basis (I'll take conversation where I can get it with him) is the route that we're both taking with biology.

Peter finds the aspects involving genetics and evolution more exciting (Which is understandable with him being part spider and all). He can go on and on about different theories and new techniques of gene manipulation, which is incredibly sexy might I add. While I prefer to drone on about the basic blocks of cell creation and manipulation, Peter always gives me the biggest grin whenever I throw my hands up when I describe the new discovery of color changing pigments in rat test subjects. Where else will you find a guy who is turned on by intelligence?

Again only kidding, I know that not all guys are narrow minded and only interested in sports. That ones for you Flash.. Though you've gotten better.

I don't really know where I was going with this, so I'll just finish with college seems a bit more exciting now.

Until next time.

-Gwen


	6. Page 6

Sorry for the laaaaate update.. I just moved into college myself a few weeks ago, and have been balancing school, work, and dancing. Funny coincedence.. I actually am a Bio major, though I'm a freshman.. do your AP homework kids! Hope you enjoy!

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**Journal #6**

I know that it's been awhile since I even wrote in you (Look at me personifying a book), but I've had good reasons.

Catching you up on everything:

I leave for college in three weeks

I started my internship for the biology department at ESU

I finally finished my college shopping (for now)

And my body is currently experiencing a level soreness that I didn't even know it could.

I shall start at the top. As I wrote before I start college on August 27th, meaning that yes.. today is the 6th if that makes you feel better (Though you're a book so you shouldn't have any sort of neurological need, unless you started producing synapses which would mean..)

Sorry! My mind is a moving a little faster than normal... Which faster than the speed of light is theoretically impossible, but stranger things have occurred recently. So back on subject. I have spent the middle of my summer boxing up part of my life (mostly the boring stuff), and spending so much time with my family that when I do finally leave I will be sick of them. Good theory right? What I came up with is that if I spend every waking moment just being around my Mom and brothers I will eventually grow so tired of them I won't get home sick when I'm away at college. I'm thinking of calling it the Gwen Annoyance Theorem! Patent pending of course, but again back on topic. In three weeks I will be moving into my dorm room, and at this moment I couldn't be more excited. Somehow I swung a single in Richards Hall, and if you didn't know it is the honors hall. I was able to see a mock room during orientation, and it's pretty spacious compared to other colleges that I have checked out (Here's looking at you Harvard).

Another high note is that Peter also got into the same dorms as me! We're only one floor a part, and he is actually roomed right underneath me with some other guy. Last that Peter and I had talked about our dorming situations he was explaining to me that his roommate was an exchange student from Russia. His roommate apparently got into the engineering program which is cut throat knowing that ESU has one of the greatest engineering programs in the United States as a whole. At least I don't have to worry about Peter getting his throat slit by some crazy roommate.. though I'm not alluding that I worry about him in my free time, I mean… he has the reflexes of a spider! He'll be fine, I'm sure of it… Moving on again!

I just started my internship at ESU and it has been mind-bogglingly wonderful. Unlike OsCorp I feel no sense of danger or fear when I speak to the actual lab workers. No one is trying to hide some devious research or some scheme to take over the world (I hope). All of the other lab techs who started just like me are all very intelligent, kind, and studious. Except for one.. His name is Rodger and he hit on me the first time I said hello. Think long greasy hair, skinny jeans, torn up vans, and the pension of smelling like garbage. My elbow may or may not have connected to his stomach when he leaned in a little too close. I'm not some blond haired bimbo that you can sweet talk into a date! Hell, I need at least some sort of awkwardly warming conversation first! Alright, enough with complaining about greasy. The actual lab is beautiful, and yes I just referred to a sterile white environment as beautiful. The equipment is state of the art and pristine, the entire building is architecturally amazing, and I get to work a long side some of the brightest minds in the world.

I…Can't… Wait…

Oh, and my bedding is all blue. I got some decorations for my dorm. And I got a new toothbrush. So that happened.

I'll go into details about my dorm room once I actually move in and situate everything.

I guess we come to the final point.

Why am I sore?

Well… last night my Mom and I had gotten in a blow out over me wanting to spend the night in going over some research papers instead of going out and gallivanting around town. Who tells there 18 year-old daughter to go to a party instead of studying? I mean sure, since my Dads death the only reasons I've really gone out on the weekends was to go to the library or attend a seminar on Bio Ethics and Environmentalism. Isn't that better than getting wasted every night and coming through the front door looking like some half dead sleaze? I finally relented and texted a girlfriend on mine who just happened to know of about a thousand parties last night.

So there I was at 11 at night, in some stranger's house standing against a wall holding a cup of water. I was offered at least a dozen drinks, but if you didn't know about my no alcohol rule… you do now! Finally I found my friend and told her that I was walking home. At most I lived six blocks away so drunkenly she said "Fine, but you need to lighten up some," Laughingly I walk out the door and started my trek home. You might be think 'Gwen! You're a five foot six 18 year-old blonde girl in a skirt and knee high boots! (No heels) it's dangerous for girls like you in New York!" And I say back! My taser, years of self-defense classes, and a 6:30 mile time begs to differ. I know how to protect myself there's no need to worry. But of course karma was just not on my side last night, and so I was followed by three large looking thugs who decided to corner me in an ally.

I don't really know why I had decided to take the longest and dark effing way home that I could. Maybe it was because I wanted to spite my Mom and give into being a dumb teenager for once? Or maybe it was because I thought a taser would truly protect me from three large individuals. All I know is that in a split second one had taken my purse and another was lunging at me. I managed to duck underneath his arms and make a break for it. The other one had lunged for my foot and caused me to fall onto my back. The other two just inched towards me with sickeningly yellow smiles. Before I could scream their attention seemed to be drawn upwards. In a split second the two who had been smiling were kicked backwards by an individual who could move just as fast as I could blink. My breath hitched when I was that individual standing on the chests of those two thugs. He turned his head and all I could see was a red and blue mask. Smiling a little I let out a breath of relief, but that smile escaped my face when I felt my entire body jolted up by the guy behind me. The thug who had tripped me had lifted me up and was using me as a human shield with an effing hunting knife to my throat! Peter had lifted his arms in a message of surrender (or so I thought) the thug was yelling for him to get lost or I would die. Peter just told him that he would do anything, and for the thug to just let me go. The thug laughed for a bit and yelled for the other two to get up. As he was yelling Peter moved faster than I have ever seen a human do so. He shot a piece of webbing at the thugs eyes and had me out of his grasp and on the roof top above us faster than... I already said it before. Not even looking back at me he was on the ground pummeling the thugs for all they were worth. He finished them by tying the up with webbing, and stringing then by a lamp post close by. He sling shotted up to me landing a few inches in front of where I was standing. Not even talking Peter had pulled me into an embrace, and held me so tightly I thought I would pass out (In a good way).

I kept repeating that I was alright, that he had nothing to worry about until finally I just broke down in his arms. I don't know why I started crying. If it was the fact that I was just mugged, or that this was the closest I had been to him in months without having to instigate it. All I know right now is that he had swung me home, and had me in bed before I could make a coherent thought. I asked him to stay for a bit and for once he actually did. I had gotten up and jumped in the shower (I felt like I had just been run through a sewer) after throwing on some pajama bottoms and a shirt I had entered my room to find it bare. Closing my door swiftly I had whispered loudly for him, I heard a simple "Here," coming from above me. He was on the ceiling just reading an article from one of the research papers I had printed out. He looked at me with those big brown eyes and I couldn't help but grow a large smile. Flipping down he had scooped me up bridal style and let me down on my bed again. I tired to protest but he got me under the covers without much effort.

I laid there just asking him questions about if he was following me.

If he had nothing better to do than to follow around attractive blondes at night.

If he just had my safety on speed dial in his head.

All he responded back with was that he would always be there. Before finally slipping off into dream land he had walked over and kissed my forehead. After saying goodnight he donned his mask and hopped onto the windowsill. Looking back for a split second he then leapt forward and swung off into the night. Damnit why was he so attractive?

Waking up this morning I felt like a dump truck had hit me, but you know what? It was kind of semi sort of worth being mugged. Though I am bringing a pack of dogs with me into alleys from now on. So that has been the past few weeks in a nut shell. Until next time my beloved book of binded pages!

-Gwen


	7. Page 7

Hope you guys enjoy this one! Also thanks for the reviews :D they mean a lot :l

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**Journal #7**

Blood and lies...

What has now become a norm for me sounds like the title to some vampire smut novel. Me the dashing young heroin sitting at her desk typing away at some 'boring' science paper. Suddenly hearing a soft knock at my window I turn swiftly to view the scarred and bloody mess of my knight in red and blue armor. His mask hanging from one of his hands as his full and luscious hair is matted to his skin. His eyes burrow into mine as if telling me "I need you." I race to the window to let the object of my convoluted love into my room, steadily increasing my heartbeat to dangerous levels. As I help him in I take note of the gashes and cuts that mar his once perfect costume. All the while I hear him quietly groan with each step we take to my bed..

Screw science, I should just become an author and bank of teenage girls rampant attraction to anything bloody and toned.

Well now that my dive into the strangely proactive tale of Spider-man and his blonde companion, lets get down to why I chose this title. Ever since Peter has donned the red and blue spandex he has slowly escalated from dealing with the common street thug and robber to going toe to toe with some of the strangest organisms I could even imagine. Steadily it seems like the bad guys are coming out in droves of crazy. One guy he went up against calls himself the Vulcher... I mean the fact that he has metallic wings that allow him the ability to fly makes sense, by why pick a scavenger as an evil villain persona? I would have chosen something like The Falcon! Or The Gull! Well... maybe not the Gull as being a Seagullesk villain wouldn't garner much respect I believe. Away from some of the questionable names chosen by the villains we get to the blood. A long with the escalating titles has come escalating violence. Some of the people Peter has had to fight lately have either been super strong, super fast, and super.. a plethora of other dangerous abilities.

Peter's doing his best to keep the city safe, but he's only one man. Whenever I see him on TV or online battling some monstrosity of nature my stomach clenches tighter than the cohesive bond of an ion. Amazingly I haven't grown any gray hairs from watching any of his battles.

Yet, whenever Peter gets ruffed up or injured he doesn't go to the hospital. Where does he go to get stitched up, wounds cleaned, and a warm place to rest? Me. I don't mean for any of this to come off as pretentious, whining, and bitchy or anything. It's just.. imagine the person you care about the most in the world. Now have that image in your head? Imagine them bloodied, bruised, and burnt at your window with eyes pleading for you to help them. That's how I feel everyone goddamned time when peter shows up and each time it hurts. I just want him to be safe and sound, I don't want to worry about him possibly dying every time he dons that mask. Yet lets get to why I brought up this rant.

Last night I was just typing away at my computer working on some right up for a discussion I had watched the previous day. Suddenly I heard a quiet tap coming from my window, and guess who was sitting there with one knee lazily pulled up to his chest? I noted immediately a large cut on his left cheek and bruising that was just showing up. Rushing over to open the window he blurted out "I think I need to start paying you for all of the fix ups." I couldn't help but to let out a low chuckle, but as soon as it escaped I went back into serious mode. Helping him in and shouldering the broken hero to my bed he let out a strangled groan and fell back onto it.

Leaving him laying on my bed I headed to grab my now overflowing bag of medical supplies. Honestly I could run a small clinic if I wanted, but then again being a doctor would take way to many years of school (Even for me). Making my way back to Peter I opened up a sanitation wipe and started to slowly work my way at the large gashes on him. He barely winced as I started to question him about what had happened this time. He mumbled something about a giant Rhino or something.. Which makes absolutely no sense. I ended up grabbing my scissors and cutting off his top much to his protests and cries of how long it would take to make another one. But he could suck it up, his health takes precedence over some spandex suit. After about an hour I had done my best to stitch and clean Peter up. He had thanked me and tried to stand to leave. He let out another groan and I eased him back into a sitting position on my bed. In the middle of bickering as I tried to tell him to stay I heard a knock on my door. My Mom said that she thought she heard me talking to someone.

Here comes the lying.

I told her that I was just watching Philip DeFranco on YouTube (Check him out, he is hilarious) she said alright and for me not to stay up very late. When I heard her footsteps lightly patter away I turned my attention back to Peter who was hidden under my covers doing his best to hide. Failing to hold back a laugh at the giant bulge in my bed he poked his head out with a mischievous smile on his face. We eyed each other playfully until finally I told him to scoot over. He pulled down the covers for me to get in and I laid down next to him. As I turned my body to face him better I noted that his eyelids were slowly starting to fall. For once I made no sarcastic remarks or funny jests, I just wrapped an arm around his torso and pulled his head into the crook of my neck. Very silently I hummed random tunes trying to put him to sleep, and in less than a few minutes I heard his breathing even out. I kissed him on the top of the head and whispered into his hair for how long I don't even know. All I know is that last night was some of the best sleep I have ever gotten. I guess lying isn't that bad sometimes.. But, back to my point of this entire thing. I am the one that Peter turns to when he needs a warm and safe place to rest, and as much as I worry about him I am grateful that he trusts me this much.

Because heroes need someone to save them sometimes... right?

Until next time.

-Gwen

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Whelp there's another page! Tell me what more you would like to see!


	8. Page 8

Sorry about the long update… College gets in the way, I don't even want to know how Gwen does it.. Enjoy!

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Journal #8

Well you're probably wondering why it's been so long since I last updated what's been going on in my chaotic life? I mean aside from the near death fire that tore through a building in downtown Manhattan, losing my shoes in a mud puddle while running from the police, and getting run down by a giant man rhino… I can't really say that much has changed. I've just been studying, helping to run experiments in the lab, and balancing a social life that has me reeling with a little stress.

Lets kick off this long update with the boring stuff…

It's the end of November right now and the quarter is about to end (Which means new classes next quarter!). I signed up for the next series of biology classes for my major and a long with that a chemistry class with an English class added in for fun. If you can't tell my sarcasm with the English part… Then just know that my face is contorted with a little sneer which Peter says makes me look like the Wicked Witch of the East. I vaguely remember stepping on his toe with that comment, and him laughing a fearful undertone.

I ended up going home for thanksgiving to se my family and unwind from the piles of homework and endless amounts of genetic samples that we had to sift through in my lab section. When I got home I was greeted with my mother pulling me into a death grip and my brothers giving me a half hearted hey. I couldn't stop the large smile that grew on my face, I was home! We enjoyed the time with movies, stories of what had been going on in our lives since my last visit, and a dinner that countered all of the bad dorm food that I had acquired through the past few months. Once my brothers had left to go out to hang with some friends my Mom gave me a gaze that meant, "Lets talk about Peter".

Man does she know me well.

Since I haven't updated I need to back up a bit. So a few weeks before thanksgiving I was sitting in a genetics lab that one of my professors runs with a few other colleagues. The lab sits in a seven story building a long with other development labs that are funded by the ever-illusive Tony Stark. That man truly is something else; he holds more degrees than I do fingers! Of course I'm over exaggerating, but you get the gist. The reason I was here was because my professor asked me to accompany her to see what a lab that as she put wasn't "tainted" by ulterior motives. Which after what happened with OsCorp I graciously accepted. Watching all of the geneticists run around checking samples, recording data, and messing with different slides was awe inspiring. This is what I was working for, being able to make a difference in the world through something that I am more passionate about than anything else in my life that I can think of.

Listening to them talk to each other I couldn't help but nerdgasm at what they were talking about.

Gene healing.

Gene therapy.

Biological computers.

I. Was. In. Heaven.

But, of course something catastrophic had to happen. I have come to the conclusion that when things in my life are finally looking up something devastating has to come a long and blow the good times out of the water. One of the gas lines running through the walls had ruptured and exploded. It happened faster than I could even blink. All of a sudden there was this huge BOOM! I was flung from my seat and thrown into the wall behind me. The force knocked me out for a few minutes, and when I woke I was in the back of a parked ambulance with a few paramedics checking my pulse and putting an oxygen mask on my face. My head felt like absolute hell with throbbing that I didn't even think was humanly possible.

I tried to lift my self up into a sitting position, but one of the paramedics had pushed me back down into a laying position saying that I had experienced mild head trauma. Looking up a bit I saw some of the scientists who had been scurrying around the lab pre-explosion. I was surprised that most of them only had some smoke damage done to their clothes and a few scratches and burns. One of the paramedics was telling me about how after the rupture and combustion the floor we were on was falling a part. A geneticist told the paramedic that out of nowhere they heard one of the windows that was still standing burst open. When the geneticist looked up there perched on the window was none other than the guy in blue and red, Spider-man. He recanted how with speed he had never seen a person move two by two he got us out; swinging us to the ground and speedily web slinging back into the building to get everyone out.

In the end the worst injuries were a few concussions, but thankfully everyone made it out a live thanks to Spider-man. Tell me why to that point I hadn't seen Peter for two weeks straight and then out of nowhere he appears to save the day again? It's like he has some sort of six-sense that can tell when I'm in danger.

When I was finally cleared after going to the doctors, and my Mom bursting in the doors in tears screaming if I was all right I went back to my dorm. When I hobbled my way on crutches through my dorm building a group of people were waiting with flowers, and gifts asking me if I was okay. It really was a sweet gesture, and for some reason it felt better knowing that I for once was cared for more than just my intelligence to a community. After spending nearly an hour telling them that I was okay I was ushered up to my floor and my room. Saying thank you and goodbye to them all I entered my room and locked the door on the way in. After plopping down onto my bed I just splayed my limbs onto my soft comforter letting out a deep breath. I closed my eyes and then started to tear up, why do things like this happen to me? I tend to ask this question a lot, but what have a done that was so bad that made me the target of karmas freaking wrath? Berating myself I took note of a lump on my back, and sitting up I reached under my covers and found a small box about four inches by three. Retrieving it from under my covers I looked it over and saw a few words inscribed on the top.

"From your neighborhood Spider-man :P"

Laughing the tears away I removed the top and just sat there smiling like an idiot. I had told Peter a few weeks ago how much I wanted to see the new Hobbit movie. I loveeeeeeee The Lord of the Rings trilogy, especially the Hobbit. There sat in the box two tickets to the Imax midnight premier, sitting on top of a few bars of Hershey's chocolate. That boy knows my weakness… Stilling smiling I took my phone out of my pocket and opened up the lock screen about to send him a gracious thank you. Before I could even tap my contacts I heard a small knock on my window. Upon looking up I dropped my phone and my jaw dropped. Peter was….

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Well hope you guys liked this one :D cliff hanger I know… but I feel like you'll be more appreciative of the next chapter.. I love you guys :D see you next time..


	9. Page 9

A few suprises lurk in this chapter… Enjoy!

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**Journal #9**

Here I am sitting up in bed with a half naked teenage guy resting his head on my lap.

Nowhere in the past 24 hours did I think I would say, and let alone write those words. Want to take a guess as to who this guy is who's lanky and well-toned body is taking up most of my bed? You guessed right (hopefully) the ever illusive Peter Parker! For the past few hours I have been stroking his mangled head of hair and just rejoicing in the fact that he's here alive…

I skipped a head didn't I?...

Sorry about that, it's just a lot happened and I feel like a nuke just went off in my brain destroying any sense of clarity in my already jumbled head. So I ended my last post pretty dramatically, and that was because when I looked over at the window there he was covered in blood, gashes, and what looked like dark blue bruises covering the skin that I could see. I had dropped my journal and rushed over to let him in. When I unlocked the latch on my window I pulled it up as high as I could. Peter had tried to say some snarky remark, but all I got out of him was a low and painful sounding "Hey".

I helped him in as quickly and gently as I could as to not draw any attention to the wall crawling super hero coming through my dorm window. When I had him on his feet in my room he put all of his weight on me. It took all I had to get the window closed with one and while trying to steady him with the other. Skipping the slow and arduous walk over to my desk chair I sat him down and cupped his face bringing his gaze to mine. I tried to see if his pupils were dilated at all, and thank god he seemed 'there' at least. He tried to give me that wry smile that I only see when he's injured, but he ended up coughing up blood, and a little landed on my cheek.

That's when I knew this was different than any other time he had gotten hurt. This was more serious than serious; this was holy shit he could die. The fact that I'm cussing should allude to how much stress and fear I was feeling at that moment. He closed his eyes and I asked him what had happened. Barely even audible I made out "Ven…om…".

Who was Venom?

At that point it didn't matter though, calmly as I could I told Peter that I was going to get my medical kit and that I needed him to stay upright. He shakily raised his arm and brought with it the poorest excuse of a thumbs up I had ever seen, but that was enough for me. I bolted to my closet and pulled out the hulk of a medical kit that I had putting together ever since I had found out how dangerous being Spider-man was for ones health. Coming back and kneeling in front of Peter I opened the kit and pulled out some gauze and alcohol. Not even rationalizing where to start I poured some of the alcohol onto a ball of gauze that I held up with tweezers and started dabbing one of the biggest wounds that ran horizontal on his chest. There were three jagged gash marks that seemed to have the same size give or take a few centimeters. Peter nearly let out a howl in pain, but I had rushed my free hand to cover his mouth and shushed him. His eyes shot open and met my own, and for once I saw true fear in his eyes. At no point in my time with Peter have I ever seen him so scared, but his gaze broke my heart. His eye lids came back to normal size and he gave me a slow nod that he understood he had to keep quite.

The bad thing about it being dead week is that you have to be silent 24/7 in the dorms.

Back to the blood and gauze.

I spent the next good hour or two cleaning his wounds, and he took it like a champ not even letting out another whimper. Finally cleaning the wounds as best I could I asked him if he would let me take him to the hospital. He of course said no, and I shouldn't have expected anything better. I dressed his wounds and he ended up looking like a mummy from the torso down to his thighs. His healing rate is truly something as once I was done with cleaning his wounds they were already clotting and closing. I didn't even see any bleed through of the gauze when I was done dressing the wounds.

I was going ask him "Who was Venom?" and "What in the flying hell happened!?" but I noted that his head was slowly drooping in the chair like he was going to pass out. So I told him in a stern voice that if he wanted to stay here for the night he owed me BIG TIME. Though he did get me an awesome gift… He just chuckled slightly and agreed. I helped him hook his arm around my shoulder, and I hoisted him up to his feet. We shuffled over to my bed, and I lifted up the covers to help him in. He plopped down onto the bed on his back and just looked at me with those chocolate brown eyes. I motioned for him to scoot over, and he did so slowly and carefully. I sat down on the bed and stretched my legs after pulling the covers up to cover my feet. I then (albeit a little roughly) pulled Peter's head onto my lap so that he was closer to me. Smiling up at me I returned this gesture with a large frown and a furrowed brow.

He thinks he can just make me smile after ALL of that? Without even telling me what happened?

Well it worked.

Like always..

Damnit…

I just smirked and looked away telling him to get some sleep. He nodded and slowly but surly closed his eyes. It didn't take more than five minutes until I heard his breathing even out, and looking down he had that peaceful expression that I for some reason could never achieve unless he was around.

Now here I am, with a half naked teenage guy in my bed… Life has a funny way of giving us what we truly want. Well I am going to try and get some sleep myself now, so until next time..

-Gwen

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BOOM! Update faster than two weeks! Haha but, really I'll try to get into a regular routine of posting. Winter break in two weeks! Just need to make it through my own dead week and finals.. Also I guess you saw that I am introducing Venom… Wait until next time :D love you guys!


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